How to deal with a high needs baby

high needs baby

A high needs baby wants to be hugged by the mother or occasionally someone else all the time. Here are some strategies to deal with a high needs baby.

You have probably heard it. This baby has turned into a high needs baby. A high needs baby wants to be hugged and held constantly. As soon as you put them in their bed, they start crying or screaming everybody’s ears off. But can you prevent your baby from becoming a high needs baby? Why do children need to be hugged anyway? Does the need to be held and hugged mean you have a high needs baby?

Why do babies need constant attention?

Babies under the age of two have developmental and emotional needs that, if given proper attention, will prevent turning into high need children in the future. One of these needs is being hugged and held.

The needs of a babies under the age of two include emotional touch, cuddling, kissing, and physical contact while breastfeeding. The entire surface of the skin in babies can act as a sensitive organ that needs constant caressing for relaxation. In order to feel comfort, babies under two years of age should be hugged by the mother and receive skin contact when they cry. Of course, this does not mean that children does not need to be hugged once they are over two years old. Rather, babies under two years of age satisfy their emotional need by being hugged, while after that age, up to the age of 4, being hugged improves their self-esteem in addition to providing comfort.

Does holding a baby turn her/him into a high needs baby?

Many parents think that an 18-month-old baby has become too dependent on them, and many are raising questions about their under-two-year-old children and worry that their baby has turned into a high needs baby. For example, they complain that the baby keeps crying if they do not attend to him/her for some time. But the babies from 18 to 21 months of age experience anxiety and attachment to the parents is a natural developmental process. They keep clinging to the mother and want to hug her. They do not want to be separated from their mother and they do not want to be held by stranger. This attachment and anxiety of losing a mother is not about being a high needs baby. All psychologists believe that being hugged, especially in the age group of zero to two, is one of babies’ most important emotional needs. Children show their emotional needs to their parents by crying and behaving like that. It is natural and must be experienced at that time of life. This is only abnormal if it occurs in adulthood.

Some people believe that if the mother or father cares for their child for a long time in the day, the child will be a high needs baby and this leads to his psychological dependence on the future life and adult life of the child. This is a false assumption. On the contrary, if the need to be caressed is not addressed in childhood, it can cause severe emotional and psychological dependence in adulthood.

All babies under two years of age can be considered high needs baby.

When do we have a high needs baby and how to prevent it?

When the baby is crying and becomes restless, it is wrong to immediately hug the child, because if you repeat this behavior, the child becomes conditioned. In fact, it is the parents’ reaction to the baby’s crying by hugging that causes this problem of the high needs baby. Under these circumstances, the child is conditioned to cry whenever they want to be hugged by the mother, and as they become accustomed to this process, parental resistance to hugging the baby makes them cry even more intensely.

high needs baby

Moody parenting leads to a high needs baby

Parents need to identify different situations. You should hug the child when the child needs your love. For example, a child who falls and cries should be hugged. Thus, you will prevent much of the mental stress that may come to this child in the future.


What makes the mother refuse to hug the baby?

The mothers’ perception of the child as a nuisance that needs to be taken care of all the time, with all the duties of the child and family 24 hours a day, makes the parents discouraged. But the more mothers reject the child, the more the child manifests negative emotions and, as a result, you will have more crying, which means the child has become a high needs baby.

During the first 3-4 months of birth, parents cannot manage time and the pressure of crying and attention seeking in the baby. Mere childbirth at this time puts pressure on them and they see the baby as a hindrance on their progress, work, study, and all the activities they were involved in before the baby was born.

Lack of relationship management during this time can also affect the parent’s relationships and may cause disappointment. If the father does not take care of some of the duties of caring for the child and does not help his wife, the mother is put under great pressure. Mothers should keep in mind that as much as it is important for their child’s safety and well-being, they must also think about their own needs. If the mother feels relaxed, the baby will be relaxed. Under these circumstances, the mother is not under pressure and no longer thinks that the baby is harassing her.

The problem is that 90% of parents do not express these feelings and feel pity for their child. The same negative feelings about the child and the torment of conscience continue to cause the mother to feel more pity for the child and to embrace the child and to reject the child under pressure, fatigue and sense of responsibility. This embracing, refusal, hugging, and refusal cycle causes the child to become duplicitous, not knowing that they will eventually be loved or rejected. Such confusion is at the heart of the problem of a high needs baby.

How to reduce the pressure on mothers to avoid having a high needs baby?

The best thing for parents to do is take care of the baby first, divide the tasks among themselves, and get help from others. For example, they can take their child to their grandmother or aunt at specific times or days and spend some time for themselves.

Severe concerns, especially about first children, cause parents to be overly pressured. For example, parents who are afraid of letting the child walk on their own and are often hug the child can cause the child to be a highly needs child who is always dependent on parents.


What are some ways to cope with a high needs baby

Each kid is unique, so we cannot expect to have a single strategy for every high needs baby out there. Some solutions may have a positive effect for a while, and then the child will become more resistant to them. The best and most effective strategy to deal with a high needs baby is provided by each parent with their management, creativity, and verbal skills. The kids are pretty easily convinced and we can easily get them excited about anything. For example, to encourage the child to walk. Just be energetic and express your words with excitement and tone so that the child can accompany you.

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